The internet is like a pandora's box.... I have been hooked to the www for such a long time now. I think it was during my Post Graduation days about fifteen years ago when I stumbled upon this amazing medium. My first e-mail i.d was with usa.net. A friend of mine had created it and we would exchange mails when sitting across the small cubicles of a cyber cafe. Browsing internet was a highly premium then. They used to charge fifty bucks for browsing only for thirty minutes.
I never have had too much of bad or sour experience with this medium....
To come to think of it.... I logged into this site in the year 2005... which is close to nine years now. The best thing about this medium was the ability to keep myself anonymous and yet be able to express things freely. We live in a society full of fucktards and hypocrites. My blogs had my name to it and then I realized there were my annoying and nosy relatives reading all this and whenever I'd bump them at social gatherings all they had to say was about what I wrote. They never appreciated about my writing but wanted the gory details.
So I changed my url altogether with an abstract "scarzeroed" as my name.... and it suits me well too!
From paying fifty back for half an hour to accessing internet on a phone, we surely have come a long long way I must say.
Two weeks ago I installed a free video calling app in my phone so that I could cut on my outgoing voice and video calls to my husband. Currently we are in a long distance relationship because of occupational hazards.
And someone pinged me out of the blue. A total stranger. I was just trying to get used to this newly installed app and much later I realized my location was "on" and so people who had the same app installed could look up in the '"people nearby" section. So this guy sent me a "hello".... and because I was so much into R&D of the new app, it took a while for me to see the messages as well.
I looked in to the photograph and when my mind said "he looked decent enough to hello him back", I did exactly that.
The first few exchanges were interesting and three days later I found myself actually looking forward to strike up a conversation with this total brand new stranger.
Soon we moved to a more comfortable Whatsapp.
But now that two weeks have passed I have a different opinion about him altogether. No... I do not mean bad. People cannot be tailor made as per our liking but nevertheless I get negative vibes from the man in question.
He is actually getting a bit annoying now. He should realize we have just met on the internet and there are things I am not comfortable sharing with him. He cannot trespass and try and get too close to me. It sucks! It really does.
I have made him understand that. I am a very "right on your face" person. I told him the things which I do not appreciate. But either he is a total nincompoop or a dimwit to have not understood. Not that I used very tough language.... "I sleep early because I am an early riser". Is that so difficult to understand?
On a weekend we did chat till 1:00 am in the morning. But that does not mean its going to be like this everyday.
All I want to tell him now is -Dear Mr. Stranger pal... please do not assume I am your girlfriend or your lover. We met on the internet and that's it. Please do not expect me to be sticking on to my phone messaging you every minute, sharing every detail... what I ate for lunch, which programme am I watching on television, what did my daughter take in her lunch box to school, what is the colour of my underwear.... you know this is hugely claustrophobic and I am in need of some fresh air.
Mr. Starnger... you need to get a life on your own. You cannot trip on looking at my weekend with friends album in Facebook.
I assume you are a total loser. Am I being blunt? Oh yes! You can bet your fat ass on that.
You said I have a very interesting life, yes I do because I try to live my life to the fullest and try and do as much things as possible. I don't want to die with any regrets. And yes... I am very disciplined. I have a time table and function that way.
But what about you... all I could gather is you have a nine to five job which you always extend to eight. You do not talk to your wife. You sleep in separate rooms too. You have no friends. You do not make an effort to reach out to people. You have not taken a vacation for ages and regard your official trips as "I love travelling to new places".
But most importantly you have a huge complex with your name. Is it because your name is feminine and you are not? Please try and understand many Indian names are unisex. For example Krishna is a name for men and women. Then again there is Pushpa... it can be named to either sexes. When your parents kept your name they had done it with good intention I am sure.
Mr. Stranger.... I am not a pretender.... I do not have complexes .... I am in love with myself and hence I am usually happy.
Please try and get a life and maybe after that I will decide if I still want to communicate with you...
So long... you are blocked... restricted...rejected...
Thank God for small mercies and smart phones!
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