When ADVICE is not solicited

There is this advertisement of Reliance Telecom where it is shown people being adviced left, right and centre… and the line which hold my fancy is when the voice over says “aur pregnant hone par advise hi advise”!

This is for all those women who have been pregnant at least once... and also for those who still have time for this major life changing experience.

I am close to my due date, just nine more weeks to go but advise nevertheless ceases...

Not all of them crazy and weired. Some were logical but its not the logical or the practical ones that I can think of or recall.. its the stupidest and the whackiest of them all that I am about to make a note of.

And yes! These come from a very good friend of mine...

I called her up one fine morning to give the "good news"... that was right after my reoprts were confirmed... she was happy to hear that... and why not... even she has a daughter who's about five years and at least now she could discuss her "motherly blues" with me as well...

Her mother did advise me about this & that whenever I chanced to speak to her and it was well appreciated.

Things I thought got out of poportion about ten days back when I had called her again just for a chit chat and one thing led to the other and it came to the inevitable - "the would be baby".

Like all first time expectant mothers I am spending sleepless nights dreaming how my baby would turn out to be... the things I will do... the joy the baby would bring...

And naturally I told my friend how regularly I was following "Baby Story, Runaway Moms, Amazing Baby Videos, Baby its You" on the Discovery Channel and how Dr. Benjamin Spock's Baby And Child Carebecame my Holy Bible... Granth...Gita... Koran...

Her "Ohh Nooooooo" was so loud and high pitched that I distanced myself away from the phone for a minute or so.

According to my friend -

"We are a race rooted with age old traditon... to watch programmes on TV dealing with expectant moms is a big mistake... I should not read books like Baby And Child Care because it won't be as per our customs..." If that wasn't enough... she continued in the same monotonous preacher like voice...

"... I should not decide on the name of the baby... be not prepared with a single piece of cloth also to wrap the new born... should not touch knife, switch on lights or fans, should not touch needles, should not cut my hair.... blah... blah... blah..."

She would have loved to continue her sermon but I felt so claustrophobic that I cut the conversation short - I didn't bid her "adieu" also. Just disconnected and even took out my battery and kept the phone out of my sight until my frustration subsided.

All her Advice didn't make any sense to me ... not even an iota of it...

If I am not supposed to touch a knife then how the hell would I make meals? If I am not supposed to swich on the lights, am I supposed to stay in the dark until Nirav reaches home? And imagine sitting in total darkness especially in these winters when the sun sets as early as four!

And possibly how could I harm myself or the would be baby if I watch those baby stories in Discovery?

Come On! I mean the baby was well planned... since both Nirav and I decided that we needed one we went ahead with baby palnning...

Unlike our mythological relics, the baby won't be bestowed upon me by the omnipresent one fine day when I am expecting the least! So why should I act so awestruck?

When Nirav reached home that evening he asked me why I had kept my phone in the switch of mode, I narrated him the entire day's event and also told him how much it left me mentally drained!

Nirav gave a slight naughty smile... looked at me and simply told me in one uncomplicated sentence,

"For some motherhood is all about joy and smiles and for the rest its as bad a disease, take your pick baby"