This is something I found in FB and it was so interesting decided to put it here as well:
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No…
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU Cried?
yesterday when Nior got her dose of vaccine, I cried too!
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I used to, but now I type more that write!
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I usually stick to veggies for lunch.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Nior is my lifeine… & so is Nirav, at times he is more babyish!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
of course yes!
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
….yep…. & with those who deserve that type of lingo!
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yep and everything else I was born with
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
aaah! YES!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Nothing as such…. But oats is ok.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
yeah
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM
chocolate chip
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
shoes… & women with sandals … how well groomed the feet are.
15. RED OR PINK?
Can I say orange?
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I tend to trust people too soon.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST ?
My family
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
As long as it sounds interesting why not?
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black corduroy & blue bedroom slippers
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Give me some sunshine from 3 Idiots
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Green
23. FAVORITE SMELL?
Nior’s is a mix of Johnson’s Baby powder... Lactogen… her sweat…
Otherwise its Miracle by Lancome or Pleasures by Estee Lauder
24.THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Boon
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
No one sent me this, was surfing here & there when I came across this.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Swimming & Diving, Golf, Tennis & Soccer.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark Brown
28. EYE COLOR?
Dark brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No, I enter them on my phone -hehe
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Mixed grill sizzlers!
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings… in reel & real life.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
3 Idiots
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Dark blue
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Both… but summers are good for swimming & winters are good for great outdoor adventures.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs & Kisses… & lots of it!
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
chocolate soufflé.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
all.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
dunno!
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Barrack Obama’s Dreams from my Father.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
it’s a lappy…
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Chris Angel’s Mind Freak!
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)?
walking on a wooden floor.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles… Rolling Stones… Bread… Metallica…. Def Leppard… Scorpions…
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Been always at home no matter where I am!
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I guess so…
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Guwahati.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Everyone’s
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
…. Haahaaaa!.... met him thru my then supposedly bf!
49. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Half Full …
50. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Nirav, Nior as of now…
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Twenty Five Random Things about me
- I live life King Size… at least I try, but there are times when I get miserable; when things don’t go the way I wished…
- I think the saying “if there’s light, there is darkness too; if there’s good there’s evil and if there’s God then there’s Satan too”… hold true!
- If life had been a vacation I’d love to be in
- I listen to advices but might not necessarily implement each and every one… I’d rather filter it and take those which satisfy my own rationale!
- Life sure has been a roller coaster ride for me, but I’ve been through it without giving up and looking back now I think I’ve enjoyed that roller coaster ride.
- There are some people I wish I never met and then there are those I wished I had met them earlier then I did!
- Never thought motherhood would change the meaning of my life until I became one!
- If God grants me a second life I’d love to be the way I am now… aah! Maybe could do with a less extra pounds on my waistline!
- That I am lucky to have Nirav & he is equally lucky to have me is mutually exclusive!
- If I was a musician I’d surely be a bass guitarist … or a drummer!
- If I had taken the game of tennis seriously when my dad insisted I wish I had listened to him… now it’s no point mulling over it!
- Sketching is not my forte. I am hopeless!
- One thing I’ve realized is if you look before you leap, you may never have to leap at all.
- Waking up early in the morning is not as terrible as I always thought.
- Life might not always give me a second chance, so why not grab those opportunities coming my way?
- A simple equation always seems “too much math” for me!
- Multi Tasking is a way of life.
- Cooking is actually not rocket science at all!
- I wish I was a bit more diplomatic when it comes to handling relationships.
- For me its either black or white. There ain’t room for grey areas.
- If it hadn’t been for my parents I’d never been here writing this in the first place… lots of love to them always.
- Meditation is a great stress buster.
- It’s a small world and Face Book testifies that!
- If I could punch someone on the face I’d definitely knock a few people down!
- I am not an anti social but somehow the very idea of visiting relatives and gossiping over hot cuppa teas & samosas isn’t my idea of spending quality time!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
$#@%^&&* bleep...@#$%^$@ Bleep PLEASE!
Rakhi Sawant will find her Mr. Right through a Reality Show! Man that sounds too cheesy!
Then we have a bunch of lads & ladies on Splitsvilla trying to find love while strangulating, swearing, hitting each other…
Then there are the Roadies… so much of poli-tickling…. Bitching… ! They surely deserve a seat amidst our Netas!
I haven’t had much time to catch up with another set of individuals in another reality show called Sarkar Ki Duniya… the few minutes I’ve seen, they act crazy… lunatic to be more precise!
And why am I complaining? Don’t I enjoy to see these same people fighting each other, abusing … abusing and much more abusing…. BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP… goes the audio….
And I also have the last laugh when one of them is voted out they cry as if it is the end of the road! Weren’t they the same people who had voted????
April Agenda
April means summer. Stupid… Stupid… Stupid… it means SPRING… the trees with the new foliage, flowers blooming… it seems fine…
This April fooling someone was not on my mind, not even remotely. And its only the 1st of April that one is supposed to play dirty pranks on everyone … for me the day came and went by just like any other day.
It was just the other day when Boon was about to leave when I did the much belated April Fool thing to him!
Its very routine for Boon to come to our home directly after work and share a few drinks & smoke with Nirav and leaves by nine-ish.
On that day he decided to leave early as he had to take back home some chicken. And then the devil in me came up! I asked him to finish of his drink before leaving. He was certain that he had done the “bottoms up” to his drink but I insisted that he hadn’t finished. After adjusting his ear phones to his cells phone he turned around took the glass and gulped it only to realize that it was empty! And I shouted APRIL FOOL!!!
We all had a good laugh and he left…
I was thrilled like a kid to have played a prank after so long.
I completely forgot about this episode and got back to my regular life as the days passed. Yesterday afternoon I received an sms from him. He seemed annoyed with me. He mentioned in his sms that if I don’t like his coming to our house so regularly I should tell him on his face directly. I was taken aback to read this and thought of all the possibilities, if I had something rudely in the last few days. I thought for a long time and couldn’t find any reason. I immediately buzzed him. He took a long time to answer. And when he did he just said one thing, “Are you the only one who can fool people in April?”!!!!!!
That was fun! Its like the saying….what goes around … comes around!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Notes on a Sunday evening
Why does it take so long for me to write the next blog? It must be the Blogger’s block! I guess it happens to all. There are plenty of things on my mind, things I wanna let out but when it actually comes down to do the needful I just let it pass by. And then out of the blue when I am into something else; for example maybe when chopping onions this thought creeps back and tells me that I should have written it and not leave behind in my thoughts only!
A few things that calls my immediate attention are –
1. Need to collect music again… songs I grew up listening… need to compile as mp3s or buy the CDs … starting from Beatles, Bread, Dire Straits, Bon Jovi, Floyd… will continue this list as & when I recall…
2. Start collecting the movies too…
3. Books….
… just wondering how with time we let go things we loved so much… is it the responsibility … ?
Monday, March 02, 2009
my views
CHILDREN OF THE
IDIOT BOX
Maharashtra Labour Minister Nawab Malik has created a stir in the entertainment industry by sending notices to all television producers through the labour commissioner about the safety norms for child artistes working on the sets and the long hours they put in. Most television channels declined to comment on the notice, with some claiming that they had not even received it. But measures are being put in place to ensure that the child actors do not disclose information about their work conditions and schedules.
Television channel Colors which is airing at least four serials with children in the lead — Balika Vadhu, Uttaran, Jai Sri Krishna and Chhote Miyan — was not particularly forthcoming on this. Programming head Ashvini Yardi pointed out that these serials try to focus on social issues that have never before been dealt with on Indian television. “Our single biggest priority is to offer programming that will help break through the clutter and this is why you will see us deliver a strong proposition of differentiation and distinctive content,” she said.
The channel has ensured that children acting in its serials do not interact with the media. This has reportedly been incorporated in formal agreements, according to a family friend of Balika Vadhu’s lead character Avika Gor who plays the role of Anandi.
Eleven-year-old Avika is today the most sought after face on Indian television. She has won an award for Best Female Child Artiste, as well as for Best Female Newcomer, Best Female Artiste, and Best Fresh Face, outdoing senior actresses. Rumours are, Avika, who is earning lakhs of rupees, has stopped going to school. Numerous calls to her father Sameer by this correspondent went unanswered. Avika has also started modelling and recently walked the ramp for an imitation jewellery designer at a five-star hotel. She is also making her debut in a movie Paathshala with actor Shahid Kapoor. It also stars her “rival”, ten-year-old Swini Khara.
Swini had made audiences sit up with her crisp performance in Balki’s Cheeni Kum starring Amitabh Bachchan, where she played the role a terminally ill patient. She began her career as a three-year-old modelling for Ajanta toothpaste and hit the big screen with Kalpana Lajmi’s Chingari and Hari Puttar. Her forthcoming films include Paathshala [with Avika] and Kaalo, as well as a voice over in Nikhil Advani’s Ab Delhi Door Nahin. Swini, who was nominated for Best Child Artiste [female] along with Avika for her role in Baa Bahoo aur Baby on Star Plus, confesses that though she does get tired, it is the sheer enjoyment of acting that keeps her going. Her mother Shilpa though believes work schedules often differ with each production house. “Swini generally does shooting after school, but we prefer commercials to films or serials since they wrap up pretty fast. We often tend to bunk school for commercials since they usually take up an entire day,” the mother said, adding that children too should be compensated since school is kind of “work” for them. “Juggling school and shootings together often takes a toll, but Swini carries her school books to the film sets and studies between shots,” said Shilpa, refusing to answer how much her daughter is paid for her long hours of work. She admitted, however, that the competition was getting extremely stiff.
Casting director Mona Irani, who has been working with child actors for the last 16 years, said, “Earlier there used to be a mere ten kids auditioning for one role. Now around 150-200 kids land up, out of which only one will probably be selected.” She said that this increase in numbers has become noticeable over the past five years. “There is a lot of talent, it is just a question of getting the right break,” she said. Mona was of the view that more than producers, parents need to be pulled up by the Government for pushing their children to the brink.
“Parents themselves give permission for their kids to shoot for 14 hours at a stretch. The notice should have been sent to them instead. Most parents want their kids to be mini-stars. Once the child gets a taste of fame they stop him or her from going to school. Quick money and instant recognition is what drives parents to push their children to such limits. They are trying to live their dreams through the child,” said Mona, adding that the remuneration ranges between Rs 5,000 to Rs 1 lakh a day.
Money, and not safety, is of utmost importance, according to several coordinators in the entertainment industry. A modelling coordinator confided that film sets were often not safe for child actors. “You often have men, specially technicians, landing up drunk on the sets and I have seen kids left alone by parents to fend for themselves, with no separate rooms for them to relax. So yes, they are vulnerable and it is almost as if we are waiting for a disaster to happen,” he said.
Hansika Motwani, a former child artiste who made her debut opposite Himesh Reshammiya in Aap Kaa Surroor: The Real Luv Story last year, is a case in point. “Her mother used to call the shots. The child at eleven years was even made to act as a rape victim in a movie called Jaago based on a real life incident. This movie catapulted her to the status of the highest paid child actor then. Though the girl is only 18 years old today, she looks over 30 and has hardly made an impact as a heroine,” insiders point out.
“The child should be given an opportunity to decide,” according to theatre artiste Debashish Chanda whose two daughters Swarna and Prothoma have been acting in serials since three years old. While Swarna [9] has acted in Neelanjana on 9X, Prothoma [6] is busy doing commercials. “Work only depends on the number of scenes per day and yes, though juggling school and shooting is tiresome, one cannot help it,” Debashish said. He admitted to being disappointed if his children failed the auditions, adding, “Favouritism is rampant here as well; which is why I have registered my kids in the Cine Artiste Association as members to protect them from being taken for a ride.”
Swarna, of course, did not know what the fuss was all about. “Sometimes I do get tired but it’s okay. In school I am the only one who is famous and I love it when everyone notices me,” she said with a big smile [¼]
REALITY BITES FILM STARS
The small screen has always been regarded as the last hope for resurrecting one’s acting career. Amitabh Bachchan gave a shot to his career with Kaun Banega Crorepati?, a lead that several actors followed. TRP ratings for Salman Khan’s Dus Ka Dum, Shah Rukh Khan’s Kya Aap Panchvi Pass Se Tez Hai? and Akshay Kumar’s Fear Factor remained low and dissuaded others from anchoring similar shows. Instead, film personalities decided to play the role of celebrity judges in several song and dance reality shows, rather than actually acting in teleserials as was the case over a decade ago. Indian Idol, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Challenge, Star Voice of India, Nach Baliye and Jhalak Dhikhhla Jaa are some of the more popular shows where celebrities take on the role of strict judges, often relaxing sufficiently to sing or dance with the contestants.
To spice up their shows, the channels are wooing film personalities who are in great demand. Nach Baliye 4 has Farah Khan, Arjun Rampal and Karisma Kapoor as its judges, while the relatively new dance show, Dancing Queen has Hema Malini and Jeetendra.
Rajesh Kamat, chief executive officer of Colors, says that proper weekend programming along with a good choice of celebrities as anchors is the formula for a successful show. However, as sources pointed out, for many of the film personalities the show becomes an opportunity to project their ongoing films. For instance, Deepika Padukone has paired up with MTV Roadies with the return benefit of publicising her new movie Chandni Chowk to China. “I too have been an avid watcher of the show and I think it is a complete blast,” she said when asked about this.
Makarand Wadekar, principal consultant for I Search which tracks TRP points, said that several reality shows were running on advertising revenue and a celebrity was taken on as a judge simply to raise the ratings. “But if the script and idea of a particular show are clear and bold enough to pass on the real message then celebrities are not used for the show,” he said giving the example of Sony TV where the song-based shows enjoy the highest TRP ratings currently.
As for reality channels, two will be launched by CNBC-TV 18 and Turner International on 1 January 2009. The total investment for these over the next three years is expected to be US $39 billion of which $12 billion has already been invested in India. Sports 18 of CNBC will also start operating with an adventure reality show called Volvo Ocean Rally.
I agree what casting director Mona Irani has to say – it’s the parents who need to be pulled by the Govt. more than the channel producers.
When we were kids competition existed only in school – debate, song & dance, extempore, in the field – sports… and it was healthy. It managed to keep a balance between studies & other co-curricular activities.
When Sony started with Boogie Woogie years back it wasn’t a reality show of sorts. It was a kind of competition and aired on television.
The entire country was swept with the reality bug with the launch of shows like The Great Indian Laughter Challenge, Indian Idol, Sa Re Ga Ma… and soon every channel had its own version of song, dance, drama shows without being too much different from one another. At the end it all seemed same.
Reality show has exploited the middle class urban Indians, soon everyone wanted to become a millionaire by answering a few questions thrown to them at random; everyone wished to get their three seconds of fame and would go to any extent to grab it. Some of the contestants were so dumb in the quiz shows! It’s such a pity!
As far as children are concerned; we all love kids but like everything else even an overdose of kids makes the experience insipid.
Hansika Motwani who appeared on a TV series Desh Mein Nikla Hoga Chand first was a delight but such a cry baby and overgrown she was it surely was overkill.
We all loved Jugal Hansraj as the super cute Rahul in Massom but he hardly made an impact as an actor later.
Urmilla Matondkar (another child actor whom we adored in Masoom) became the hot favourite in everybody’s list perhaps after the Rangeela makeover. I wonder if anyone remembers her prior Rangeela.
When I first saw Avika as Anandi in Balika Vadhu I loved her instantly. Her performance would light up those thirty minutes of the series. But once while surfing channels I caught her in some award function where she was being nominated and was performing as well on stage. When questioned about her likes, dislikes and the rest; it didn’t take me long to realize that this little Anandi has lost her innocence somewhere in all the adulation, fame as well as the moolah.
It’s very sad.
My own niece did a couple of press advertisement and TV commercials. It started only as a fun thing. She was barely 5 or 6 years then. But like any other job this too demanded a lot of focus and time and neither my sis-in-law or her husband had time to tag along with her for the shoots. Many a times she missed school. Yes her parents were proud to see their daughter – huge billboards, centerspreads featuring her but they were very right in taking the decision that studies come first and she has to do that first. So now my niece who is 10 is no longer the “glam babe”. She neither her parents regrets this.
I only wish if all parents were as sensible as them.
Another drawback about serials today is the fact that they are infinite! Had it been just the thirteen episodes like the good old Doordarshan days maybe it’d be a lot easier for the kids to balance their school and appearing on the idiot box.
As for TRP rate thinning, there are so many channels and so little to watch. And whatever there is on the platter; it’s the same everywhere. So TRPs would definitely fall.
We need a change. We need real comedies and not slapstick ones like Taarak Mehta Ka Oolta Chasma. We need good stories which should end in a stipulated time and not stretch for years. Fox History airs Bhanwar and I love watching this series and don’t mind being a repeat watch. We need series like Katha Sagar. Such lovely stories it had to tell. We need comic relief from the likes of Pankaj Kapur’s Office Office and wouldn’t mind a Rajni as well. We could perhaps welcome Byomkesh Bakhsi than seeing the CID guys being so dull, blatantly moronic – anyone watching the CSI series on AXN would regard our Desi CIDs to be such buffoons.
Is anyone listing?
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Shillong Revisited
I’ve always considered Shillong to be my second home. I have fond memories of the place and my childhood. My summer vacations always meant Shillong. As we ascended the altitude the breeze would get cooler, the air would smell fresh and it seemed the pine trees welcomed me in their folds with love and warmth.
Those endless walks – be it in the Ward’s Lake, the Beaver Road, the golf links… the shop hopping in Police Bazaar, jalebis from Dilli Mistan, the road side alu tikkis & chole and roasted corns! And also sometimes it was a quick dip in the Crinoline pool. We’d always walk, take the zigzag short cuts and never did it tire me nor did my feet ache.
It was the perfect holiday for me year after year and I never got bored of this yearly custom!
I never realized that this once a year rendezvous wouldn’t last a lifetime.
With my studies taking the better of me and Maa’s passing away it almost stopped. Because Shillong without my Maa wasn’t fun you see. It’s always been with her that I prized every moment of Shillong. My Shillong Aita was still there but for some raison d'être which I never understood my Guwahati Aita prevented me from visiting her. I never asked her, it seemed so useless to ask the woman because I know she’d never tell me the truth or the rationale behind her decision.
Thus ended my Shillong rendezvous leaving me morose.
It however doesn’t mean that I never visited this place again. I did. I did it with my friends and during my Unilever days as a trainer; too many times impossible to count now. But it never felt the same. Yes, the breeze did get pleasant as we climbed the hills, the air still felt fresh, I still felt the pine trees welcoming me, but somehow the warmth and love was missing. It didn’t feel like “home coming”. I felt like an alien in midst of strangers and sightseers.
One thought constantly haunted me in my every visit. I wanted to meet Aita, just see her once, but I was so psyched with Guwahati Aita’s “sermons” that I stopped myself form going to my second home, leaving me bitterer every time I came back from there.
Years passed by, almost a decade, in fact a decade and two years… it was the month of August of 2008. We again decided to go to Shillong for a day. It was Neeyor’s first trip to this wonderland. We packed our picnic basket and got going. As we stepped out of home, I made up my mind that whatever it costs I’ll visit Aita. And throughout the hundred kilometers of the journey the only thing on my mind was how Aita would react, was she cross with me for not visiting her for so long, would she let me inside the house, would she reprimand me. I knew it was useless to ponder over these. All I could do was face the situation as it would unfold.
Once we reached Shillong we strolled through Police Bazaar, bought a few knick knacks and then proceeded towards Upper Shillong for lunch. My mind all the while was affixed to Aita’s thoughts only. Post lunch we were back in town and it was the moment I had waited for so long.
Nirav didn’t know the place; I gave him the directions to Aita’s house. As I stepped out of the car and walked towards the gate the compound looked unfamiliar. The gates were locked, I banged on it but no one opened. Having no other option left I went to the neighbour’s house on the opposite. The lady who’s Aita’s friend was amazed to see me, she hugged me like her own child and when I said the gates were locked she ordered her servant to accompany me to Aita’s house. She looked somewhat bewildered but I let pass by. I thought it was all but natural to look bemused to see me after such a long time.
I realized my folly when the servant let me in through a smaller gate. Once inside the compound I also realized that the main house had been converted to a pre-nursery school and Aita was perhaps staying only in one part of that huge house. The servant left and I knocked the door. A few seconds later a young lad looked me through the glass pane and then opened. I asked about Aita and he let me in. As I went inside I saw her seated on the bed. She turned around as I entered the room and said “Nandini, why did it take you so long to come?” I stood froze. She recognized me I thought! As per everyone who has met her prior to me told that she recognizes nobody.
She looked so much the same except for her hair which had turned into a shade of silvery white and her skin had fine wrinkles. Never has a woman looked so good in wrinkles. Her hair was neatly tied into a bun. As I hugged her she still smelt the usual of Pond’s talcum powder. I didn’t even realize when tears started dripping from my eyes. And I didn’t have an answer to her question. I couldn’t tell her that I was “very busy with work, married life and a baby”. I couldn’t tell her my Guwahati Aita “psyched” me not to visit her. I simply didn’t have an answer. I never felt as culpable as the way I felt then. I introduced Nirav and Neeyor to her. She spoke to Nirav for a long time and then she touched Neeyor’s little feet and said, “Everyone says babies are God’s replica, can this little one tell me when will I die? Can she bless me so that I die soon?”
I felt heavy, the lump in my throat felt painful. I felt so silly and stupid to have thought whether she’d let me inside the house, scold me or not talk to me. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes.
She again started talking. She told me the same things she had told Nirav. I thought maybe she had forgotten and hence repeating those to me. But I was wrong. For all the time we spent with her, she kept narrating those few lines of her life over and over again. Her sorrows, her misgivings and her loneliness. Then she started speaking about my Maa, my Aunt and my cousins. But the irony is she could not realize that I am her daughter’s daughter. She spoke about Dipli (my cousin) but failed to picture her and my Aunt as mother –daughter.
I felt so sorry for her. I wanted to bring her back to Guwahati with me. But that wasn’t possible. She couldn’t walk; she’s on a wheelchair when she’s not on the bed. The lad who opened the door stays with her and there’s another woman who cooks for her and nurses her.
As we left Shillong, meandering through the pine groves, descending the altitude, I still felt heavy, I still cried and tried to hide those tears when Nirav or Boon looked back to talk to me. But the guiltiness gradually faded and it was almost gone by the time we were home.
Visiting her truly seemed “home coming”.
It’s just a few days ago I heard from someone in the family that Aita’s no more. I don’t even know exactly when that was. I was casually sms-ing Loya when she sms-ed me back “Sorry to hear about your grandmother.”
At that moment I only prayed and wished maybe she passed away in silence and in peace. This is what she wanted so desperately. I hope she finds solace wherever her spirits are now. At least I saw her once, for a few minutes and even if she remembers nothing she did ask me why I took so long to visit her…
I don’t know if Shillong would feel the same again. If those pine trees would ever wrap me in their love and warmth, if the Oakland house would be the same without her, would I ever get the feeling of “home coming”…
Those endless walks – be it in the Ward’s Lake, the Beaver Road, the golf links… the shop hopping in Police Bazaar, jalebis from Dilli Mistan, the road side alu tikkis & chole and roasted corns! And also sometimes it was a quick dip in the Crinoline pool. We’d always walk, take the zigzag short cuts and never did it tire me nor did my feet ache.
It was the perfect holiday for me year after year and I never got bored of this yearly custom!
I never realized that this once a year rendezvous wouldn’t last a lifetime.
With my studies taking the better of me and Maa’s passing away it almost stopped. Because Shillong without my Maa wasn’t fun you see. It’s always been with her that I prized every moment of Shillong. My Shillong Aita was still there but for some raison d'être which I never understood my Guwahati Aita prevented me from visiting her. I never asked her, it seemed so useless to ask the woman because I know she’d never tell me the truth or the rationale behind her decision.
Thus ended my Shillong rendezvous leaving me morose.
It however doesn’t mean that I never visited this place again. I did. I did it with my friends and during my Unilever days as a trainer; too many times impossible to count now. But it never felt the same. Yes, the breeze did get pleasant as we climbed the hills, the air still felt fresh, I still felt the pine trees welcoming me, but somehow the warmth and love was missing. It didn’t feel like “home coming”. I felt like an alien in midst of strangers and sightseers.
One thought constantly haunted me in my every visit. I wanted to meet Aita, just see her once, but I was so psyched with Guwahati Aita’s “sermons” that I stopped myself form going to my second home, leaving me bitterer every time I came back from there.
Years passed by, almost a decade, in fact a decade and two years… it was the month of August of 2008. We again decided to go to Shillong for a day. It was Neeyor’s first trip to this wonderland. We packed our picnic basket and got going. As we stepped out of home, I made up my mind that whatever it costs I’ll visit Aita. And throughout the hundred kilometers of the journey the only thing on my mind was how Aita would react, was she cross with me for not visiting her for so long, would she let me inside the house, would she reprimand me. I knew it was useless to ponder over these. All I could do was face the situation as it would unfold.
Once we reached Shillong we strolled through Police Bazaar, bought a few knick knacks and then proceeded towards Upper Shillong for lunch. My mind all the while was affixed to Aita’s thoughts only. Post lunch we were back in town and it was the moment I had waited for so long.
Nirav didn’t know the place; I gave him the directions to Aita’s house. As I stepped out of the car and walked towards the gate the compound looked unfamiliar. The gates were locked, I banged on it but no one opened. Having no other option left I went to the neighbour’s house on the opposite. The lady who’s Aita’s friend was amazed to see me, she hugged me like her own child and when I said the gates were locked she ordered her servant to accompany me to Aita’s house. She looked somewhat bewildered but I let pass by. I thought it was all but natural to look bemused to see me after such a long time.
I realized my folly when the servant let me in through a smaller gate. Once inside the compound I also realized that the main house had been converted to a pre-nursery school and Aita was perhaps staying only in one part of that huge house. The servant left and I knocked the door. A few seconds later a young lad looked me through the glass pane and then opened. I asked about Aita and he let me in. As I went inside I saw her seated on the bed. She turned around as I entered the room and said “Nandini, why did it take you so long to come?” I stood froze. She recognized me I thought! As per everyone who has met her prior to me told that she recognizes nobody.
She looked so much the same except for her hair which had turned into a shade of silvery white and her skin had fine wrinkles. Never has a woman looked so good in wrinkles. Her hair was neatly tied into a bun. As I hugged her she still smelt the usual of Pond’s talcum powder. I didn’t even realize when tears started dripping from my eyes. And I didn’t have an answer to her question. I couldn’t tell her that I was “very busy with work, married life and a baby”. I couldn’t tell her my Guwahati Aita “psyched” me not to visit her. I simply didn’t have an answer. I never felt as culpable as the way I felt then. I introduced Nirav and Neeyor to her. She spoke to Nirav for a long time and then she touched Neeyor’s little feet and said, “Everyone says babies are God’s replica, can this little one tell me when will I die? Can she bless me so that I die soon?”
I felt heavy, the lump in my throat felt painful. I felt so silly and stupid to have thought whether she’d let me inside the house, scold me or not talk to me. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes.
She again started talking. She told me the same things she had told Nirav. I thought maybe she had forgotten and hence repeating those to me. But I was wrong. For all the time we spent with her, she kept narrating those few lines of her life over and over again. Her sorrows, her misgivings and her loneliness. Then she started speaking about my Maa, my Aunt and my cousins. But the irony is she could not realize that I am her daughter’s daughter. She spoke about Dipli (my cousin) but failed to picture her and my Aunt as mother –daughter.
I felt so sorry for her. I wanted to bring her back to Guwahati with me. But that wasn’t possible. She couldn’t walk; she’s on a wheelchair when she’s not on the bed. The lad who opened the door stays with her and there’s another woman who cooks for her and nurses her.
As we left Shillong, meandering through the pine groves, descending the altitude, I still felt heavy, I still cried and tried to hide those tears when Nirav or Boon looked back to talk to me. But the guiltiness gradually faded and it was almost gone by the time we were home.
Visiting her truly seemed “home coming”.
It’s just a few days ago I heard from someone in the family that Aita’s no more. I don’t even know exactly when that was. I was casually sms-ing Loya when she sms-ed me back “Sorry to hear about your grandmother.”
At that moment I only prayed and wished maybe she passed away in silence and in peace. This is what she wanted so desperately. I hope she finds solace wherever her spirits are now. At least I saw her once, for a few minutes and even if she remembers nothing she did ask me why I took so long to visit her…
I don’t know if Shillong would feel the same again. If those pine trees would ever wrap me in their love and warmth, if the Oakland house would be the same without her, would I ever get the feeling of “home coming”…
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Three weeks and three movies:My Reviews
The year started with a big bang for a movie buff like me. Never has good movies and of different genres hit the screens uniformly in succession. I was still in the Ghajini miasma, appreciating the Mr. Perfectionist for playing the role of an amnesiac so believably, for being so organized in his daily chores making a note of everything he does and I must also mention here he played the corporate bigwig with equal élan. Never has he looked so somber yet stylish.
Still in that haze I let pass Chandni Chowk to China. For some reasons or for that intuitive Aquarian in me I never wished to watch Mr. Action Kumar for 180 odd minutes bashing up goons or trying to be a buffoon or romancing a certain Ms. Padukone who looked so silly with her fringe in a desperate attempt to look like a Chinese damsel!
And then came the much awaited Slumdog Millionaire. I watched the movie out of curiosity. The only likeable actor for me in Slumdog was Irrfan but he had such a small role to play.
The movie was good. (It has to be since its been sweeping awards in all the big award circuit) but I wouldn’t take it back with me like the way I took Ghajini. The movie's got everything - the pulse of the slums, the people and their lifestyles, typical Bollywood masalas but somehow it didn’t move me. The only scene I think it made me sit up is when Jamal jumps into a pool of shit to escape from the loo so that he can get an autograph of Big B! The Taj Mahal scene was hilarious - especially the way the duo - Jamal and Salim steal shoes and fake as tourist guides rewriting the lives of Shah Jahan & Mumtaz! And also commendable is the scene where the call center employees gather around the TV to watch "Who wants to be a millionaire" and when they see Jamal in the hot seat; some of them exclaim "The Chaiwala!"
Yes there were moments, but too few and too far.
Next week it was Luck By Chance. I have enjoyed Farhan’s Dil Chahta Hai as a director and in Rock On he was true rock star. (But I still prefer Mr. Arjun “hot” Rampal in the movie – sorry Farhan!).
I went to watch it since there wasn’t anything else to do on a Sunday evening. Starting from the name casting the movie managed to get hold of my attention in totality! One could actually feel the pulse of what goes behind making a movie. The struggle, the plotting to surpass a fellow struggler, the life of a young single woman and a man in an urban city, the quirkiness of pampered actors is shown with all the fine points intact.
And then came Dev D. Its one movie I’ll count as my evergreen favourites. The movie is not about sex, alcohol and drugs. It’s not about the dialogues being right on your face. It’s not about always being on a perpetual high.
It’s about the unrequited love, the pain of not being with the person you love because you let her go. It’s about finding solace in someone else. The moment you think you love her but find it difficult to acknowledge it because you think you love someone else who cannot be with you.
It’s also not about ending your life because you are a loser and everything has gone wrong. It’s about reformation.
The best scene is perhaps when Dev consoles Chanda like one does to his child.
I wonder if there will be any other Hindi movie like Dev D.
I don’t know if any other actor would fit in Dev D’s shoes as did Abhay Deol and Chanda … she seemed like a young girl next door caught in between the turbulence of life and womanhood too early.
Cheers to Dev D!
Still in that haze I let pass Chandni Chowk to China. For some reasons or for that intuitive Aquarian in me I never wished to watch Mr. Action Kumar for 180 odd minutes bashing up goons or trying to be a buffoon or romancing a certain Ms. Padukone who looked so silly with her fringe in a desperate attempt to look like a Chinese damsel!
And then came the much awaited Slumdog Millionaire. I watched the movie out of curiosity. The only likeable actor for me in Slumdog was Irrfan but he had such a small role to play.
The movie was good. (It has to be since its been sweeping awards in all the big award circuit) but I wouldn’t take it back with me like the way I took Ghajini. The movie's got everything - the pulse of the slums, the people and their lifestyles, typical Bollywood masalas but somehow it didn’t move me. The only scene I think it made me sit up is when Jamal jumps into a pool of shit to escape from the loo so that he can get an autograph of Big B! The Taj Mahal scene was hilarious - especially the way the duo - Jamal and Salim steal shoes and fake as tourist guides rewriting the lives of Shah Jahan & Mumtaz! And also commendable is the scene where the call center employees gather around the TV to watch "Who wants to be a millionaire" and when they see Jamal in the hot seat; some of them exclaim "The Chaiwala!"
Yes there were moments, but too few and too far.
Next week it was Luck By Chance. I have enjoyed Farhan’s Dil Chahta Hai as a director and in Rock On he was true rock star. (But I still prefer Mr. Arjun “hot” Rampal in the movie – sorry Farhan!).
I went to watch it since there wasn’t anything else to do on a Sunday evening. Starting from the name casting the movie managed to get hold of my attention in totality! One could actually feel the pulse of what goes behind making a movie. The struggle, the plotting to surpass a fellow struggler, the life of a young single woman and a man in an urban city, the quirkiness of pampered actors is shown with all the fine points intact.
And then came Dev D. Its one movie I’ll count as my evergreen favourites. The movie is not about sex, alcohol and drugs. It’s not about the dialogues being right on your face. It’s not about always being on a perpetual high.
It’s about the unrequited love, the pain of not being with the person you love because you let her go. It’s about finding solace in someone else. The moment you think you love her but find it difficult to acknowledge it because you think you love someone else who cannot be with you.
It’s also not about ending your life because you are a loser and everything has gone wrong. It’s about reformation.
The best scene is perhaps when Dev consoles Chanda like one does to his child.
I wonder if there will be any other Hindi movie like Dev D.
I don’t know if any other actor would fit in Dev D’s shoes as did Abhay Deol and Chanda … she seemed like a young girl next door caught in between the turbulence of life and womanhood too early.
Cheers to Dev D!
Monday, February 09, 2009
Sorry Shah Rukh!
(I hate to write this piece of blog. But if I don’t, things would go in circles inside my brain and drive me into a state of insanity! Well a bit of exaggeration here but that would do no harm to me or to the man in question, for I know there is a possibility of one is to a zillion chances that Shah Rukh would ever read this.)
All of a sudden you were everywhere – from biscuits to talcum powder, hair oil to cars, computers to watches….pheew! And if that was not enough there you were as the Quiz Master; not once but twice! First luring middle class Indians to become millionaire by making them answer questions ranging from history, mythology, movies and the entire jing band one could possibly think of. The second time seemed a bit eerie at least to me; I didn’t enjoy the way people were made to admit that they were not smarter than a fifth grader! I am sure the four kids who were their to assist the contestants would mug up all the answers before the show!
And yes off course I almost forgot to mention about the business man inside you when your Kolkata Knight Riders made the maximum profit more than they did as a team in the field.
All this while I’ve remained loyal to you like a spouse until a few movies happened to me in the recent times and now I have second thoughts about you, sad but true!
I waited the entire 2008 for Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, but at the same time I also loved Rock On, Ghajini, Luck By Chance & Dev D.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
All about parenting
Neeyor will complete a year on 25th Feb. It seems just like yesterday when I first got my pregnancy confirmed. For everyone around us it was “good news” but to be brutally truthful my feelings were mixed and so was Nirav’s.
Yes! I was happy but I wasn’t elated. There were so many things in my priority list that my pregnancy almost overshadowed those. I was in the prime of my career and loved every minute of it. There were so many things in my itinerary. And now this report!
I thought to myself. I was a tad selfish to think like that and when Neeyor grows up and reads all this I know it’ll be hard for her to forgive me.
The first three months passed peacefully and I didn’t even feel there was something growing inside me. It’s only after the fifth month more or less that things started changing gradually. The slight swell in my tummy looked kinda cute you see! It’s perhaps the only time in my life that I ate like a horse; I indulged on those yummy chicken burgers from Beatrix, egg & cheese roll from Food Exx and masala dosas from Jb’s and never felt guilty even for a second about putting on weight! It was amazing to feel the kicks in my tummy. And as my pregnancy advanced at times my tummy felt like a water bed, I could see my baby move from one side to the other and it’s the most wonderful experience on earth I must say.
Neeyor came to us without many complications. I was in the hospital for only two days. Once home little did I realize that many things would change! It left me bewildered to see that a tiny little thing could bring the house down literally! She was so small, when I look at her new born pictures and the home videos I recollect every moment.
One thing I understood is giving birth is just the prelude. The actual story begins post birth!
The worse thing is perhaps the “advices” one gets from all and sundry. And poor me! I thought people gave advices only during pregnancy. Gosh! It almost made me mad.
The only time I got a no-nonsense advice is from my brother-in-law. We were in Bangalore and seated across the dining table. He told me “the moment you choose to be patient with your child in reality means you’ve already lost it!”
And on another occasion he said “give Neeyor the liberty to make mistakes. That’s how she’ll learn”.
Neeyor’ll be a year old soon and believe me folks these are the only two advises I’ve remembered.
And for the new parents or the soon to be parents reading this besides these two sturdy advices you’ve got to trust
- your gynecologist
- your baby’s pediatrician
- and of course your instincts.
You can never go wrong. – believe me …
Yes! I was happy but I wasn’t elated. There were so many things in my priority list that my pregnancy almost overshadowed those. I was in the prime of my career and loved every minute of it. There were so many things in my itinerary. And now this report!
I thought to myself. I was a tad selfish to think like that and when Neeyor grows up and reads all this I know it’ll be hard for her to forgive me.
The first three months passed peacefully and I didn’t even feel there was something growing inside me. It’s only after the fifth month more or less that things started changing gradually. The slight swell in my tummy looked kinda cute you see! It’s perhaps the only time in my life that I ate like a horse; I indulged on those yummy chicken burgers from Beatrix, egg & cheese roll from Food Exx and masala dosas from Jb’s and never felt guilty even for a second about putting on weight! It was amazing to feel the kicks in my tummy. And as my pregnancy advanced at times my tummy felt like a water bed, I could see my baby move from one side to the other and it’s the most wonderful experience on earth I must say.
Neeyor came to us without many complications. I was in the hospital for only two days. Once home little did I realize that many things would change! It left me bewildered to see that a tiny little thing could bring the house down literally! She was so small, when I look at her new born pictures and the home videos I recollect every moment.
One thing I understood is giving birth is just the prelude. The actual story begins post birth!
The worse thing is perhaps the “advices” one gets from all and sundry. And poor me! I thought people gave advices only during pregnancy. Gosh! It almost made me mad.
The only time I got a no-nonsense advice is from my brother-in-law. We were in Bangalore and seated across the dining table. He told me “the moment you choose to be patient with your child in reality means you’ve already lost it!”
And on another occasion he said “give Neeyor the liberty to make mistakes. That’s how she’ll learn”.
Neeyor’ll be a year old soon and believe me folks these are the only two advises I’ve remembered.
And for the new parents or the soon to be parents reading this besides these two sturdy advices you’ve got to trust
- your gynecologist
- your baby’s pediatrician
- and of course your instincts.
You can never go wrong. – believe me …
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